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El siguiente post tiene contenido escandaloso, políticamente incorrecto y toques prosaicos. Se sugiere la supervisión de un adulto y se recomienda discreción.

Llegué temprano a mi clase de yoga por lo que decidí practicar la postura del parado de hombros. Sólo estaba una chica de rosa jugando con su celular y acababa de llegar un señor. Acomodé mi tapete y las cobijas e hice las torciones necesarias para poder apoyarme en la pared. Hundí los hombros en el tapete, pegué la barbilla al pecho y apoyé los pies en la pared que estaban a punto de quedar en el aire. Tomé impulso y los despegué. Trataba de controlar el equilibrio cuando de repente sucedió una tragedia, en un movimiento pélvico entró aire en el aquellito ¡Oh no! perdí la concentración porque sabía que lo que seguía sería algo absolutamente vergonzoso. Pensé en correr al baño pero salió el primer sonido: prrt. Ufff, no sonó tan fuerte pensé, cuando de repente PRRRTTTTTT. ¡Qué vergüenza! además el don había puesto su tapete casi frente al mío. Retumbó el desgraciado en un salón con techos altos. ¡Ay, mamá! volteé para todos lados para no delatarme y cual temblor vino la réplica PRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT. Zaz, malditos sean ustedes los aires vaginales.

El asunto con los pedos vaginales es que suenan y suenan recio casi como si te hubieras comido un plato hondo de frijoles con rábano. Ahí no hay nada de que lo iré dejando escapar poco a poquito y aunque aprietes fuerte el perineo sale porque sale y por episodios. Normalemente pasa en agarrones de kamasutra en posturas de chivito viendo al precipio, em-pino-suarez, à quatre pates o como quieran decirle además con tanto empujón pus como no va a entrar airecito. Aún así da un montón de güegüencha pero pus como por lo regular solo hay dos involucrados tons no hay tos. Se siente raro cuando entra aire en el conducto equivocado. Para explicarlo simple, es similar a como cuando inflas un globo agarras la boquilla por ambos lados y vas dejando escapar el aire hasta que se sale todo ¿Capichi? A poco no hace ruido. Porfis, si cuando estén con una chica que involuntariamente deje escapar un sonido estrafalario no le pongan cara de qué cochina puede ser uno de esos ingratos aires vaginales.